Happy Halloween - only 6 more days of radiation - What Now?




Demi, Ellie, Eli and Anthony

 

Well, the intense treatments are coming to an end soon, it seems like I should be excited, but am I?  Not really, more like scared, depressed, sore, lost, exhausted, happy, nervous, stressed, emotional, relieved .... I think that I've been so busy handling the day to day medical treatments and their effects that I really haven't come to terms with the fact that I have/had cancer. 





Vincent







What next?  I still have infusions every 3 weeks for a year, and take an aromatase inhibitor to stop the estrogen in my body for 5 years, these both have side effects that need to be dealt with... and... Is the cancer really gone?  Will it recur?  How long before I feel normal again, hmmm?  I hear that now I have to find my "new normal", that my life will never be the same after this experience.  I believe it! 



Jude and Isaac



According to my doctors I've handled my treatments well, I wonder what it's like if you don't - YIKES!  After cancer treatment you are left with a exhausted, battered, bruised and burned body - cancer free, hopefully, but damaged.  My body hurts everywhere, to the point where it's hard to move, my mind can't concentrate on anything longer than 5 minutes, unloading the dishwasher is exhausting.  So how do I find that new normal?  How do you begin to heal spiritually, emotionally, physically?  I don't know, but now I'm going to find out, one day at a time, starting right now!!!







Paul, Thomas and Isaac



I started looking up information on how long this healing process can take - most sources say that you should expect it to take at least as long as you were in treatment to heal, then you will probably never feel like you did "before".  I asked one of my doctors last week what my expectations should be, she said I should consider thinking about trying to go back to work part time after the first of the year, and see how it goes.  I don't know if this makes me feel worse or better, at least it makes me feel like I'm not a whiner and a wimp (looking for the positive here)!  





 



Emily and Sarah



On the bright side - my hair and eyebrows are growing back, my family has been amazing, supportive, helpful, patient, understanding...I could go on and on; I feel somewhat better than while I was undergoing chemo, I can drive again, sometimes I can cook a whole meal by myself, food tastes right now, I've lost weight, I can walk further without getting tired, and I'm almost done with rad

George and Vegas

iation.  The support from friends and acquaintances has been overwhelming (thank you all), the cancer survivors have been shining examples of strength, information, bravery and so much more, the doctors, nurses, MA's, radiation therapists...have been wonderful. 







Paul, River, Devin and Thomas



There is so much to be thankful for, I know that with all that I've been given, and with so many people praying for me that I'll find my "new" normal, and it will be better than my "old" normal.









Thanks and God Bless you - and Happy Halloween,



Linda